7 Things I Would Tell My 20 Year Old Self
20 something year old Lindsay
1. Wear sunscreen. I was devoted to the sun (and being tan). Having that bronzed skin helped me look thinner, hide blemishes, and overall made me look better. But hun-nay . . . I should have been wearing sunscreen while spending alllll that time basking in the sun. It’s embarrassing to admit that I didn’t. I thought that wearing sunscreen meant I wouldn’t get a tan at all. I didn’t know that it blocks out the sun’s most harmful rays while still allowing a tan. Luckily, I did start wearing it in my late 20s, but what I would pay to erase some of that damage. Oh wait, I DID pay shit loads of money to erase some of that damage off my face. Having that sun-kissed glow on your nose and cheeks may look cute at the time, but you have no idea how badly you will pay for it later. My face don’t fuck with the sun no more (improper grammar; but said the way I want it to come across).
**Having a good skin care regimen in your 20s is a super plus, but the heavy hitting products don’t come into play until your 30s and 40s. However, wearing sunscreen in your 20s is crucial and can put you in the best spot for aging gracefully.
2. Prioritize what you put in your body. I used to drink a lot and indulge in party drugs. AND I ate like shit. The food part was mainly because I didn’t know any better, there weren’t a lot of options, and the information about what’s in our food wasn’t out there. But all that is different now. I’m in WAY better health than I was in my 20s because I pay close attention to what I allow into my body. This includes food, drinks, alcohol, substances, medication, sugar, etc. The habits you build today may not hurt you as much now—because a twenty-something year old body is more resilient—but they’re hard to break as you get older. I often remember what Heather Morgan says, “Every time you eat or drink, you are either feeding disease or fighting it”. It hits hard every time.
3. Work hard, but don’t let it consume you. My mama taught me to have a stellar work ethic from a very young age. I busted my ass for every company I worked for and produced real results. I like working, what it provides for me, and how it makes me feel after a productive day! And yes, you should be working hard in your 20s. You have more energy and less responsibility. This is also how you gain experience and figure out what you’re passionate about.
In addition . . . this does not mean that you should overwork yourself to burn out on a regular basis or lose yourself in your career. I thought “being a good employee” meant working more hours and doing tasks that weren’t required (aka shit I wasn’t getting paid to do). But for what? To make the company more money that I was never going to see? This made me exhausted, stressed, and resentful so I partied hard to make up for lost time—this just put me in a vicious cycle. Looking back, I missed out on so much because I didn’t know when to stop working. There is so much life to experience in your 20s. Try to find your balance. Yes, work hard, but if you’re working all the time or too tired to do anything else because you work so much, then what’s the fucking point??
4. The mistakes you’re currently making are going to benefit you greatly. Making a mistake for me used to be so dramatic. I would call my Mama screaming like something way more serious had happened. I beat myself up badly. I thought it would follow me around forever. I felt as if I would never recover. But boy, I could not have been more wrong. Yes, being magnified in the moment and having to feel all the emotions that come with it SUCK. But as I look back on them now (the ones that I remember), I find that I’m grateful for what they contributed to my character, my story, and my future choices. You learn best from experiencing it, not from reading or hearing about it. It’s wisdom, friends. Priceless and hard earned wisdom.
5. Not everyone that’s in your life right now will be in your life forever. I have too many personal examples to choose just one to share. However, I will share that learning this one, in my experience, was the most painful. There’s also nothing anyone can tell you in the moment to make it hurt any less. Unfortunately, only age and experience can teach it to you. AND even after you learn, it STILL hurts just as badly every time someone exits your life. I strongly resonate with the saying, “People come into your life for a reason, a season, and a lifetime.” If you think back to everyone in your life, they will always fit into one of those categories. Everyone has a purpose for entering, and when that purpose has been realized, it’s their time to go. It doesn’t always include forever . . . there’s simply not enough room for everyone to stay. But we can always be grateful for our time together and love them from afar after they’re gone. If the love is gone, at least appreciate the lesson they gave you.
6. I’m not in my forever career and that’s okay. There are rare diamonds in this world who decide a career path as a young person and follow it all the way through life. For most of us, it’s not that way at all. We may change our minds a dozen or more times! People change—which is great, by the way, we should change. And when we do, what we want out of our career will probably change too. I’ve worked at a clothing store in the mall, as a server/waitress and bartender, reporting claims at an insurance call center, as a sales rep for oxygen and nebulizers, at a video rental store, as a sales rep for lockers and bathroom accessories, and as a sales rep for wine, spirits, and beer before I finally arrived as a Women’s Life Coach. While I knew most of those were a stepping stone, I really thought I would be in the distribution of booze forever. Then one day, deep into my self-discovery journey, that all changed. I wasn’t the same person I was when I started and my needs and motivations drastically shifted.
Every single job and company I worked for offered SOMETHING I didn’t know I needed. Every job led me to the next and that ultimately led me HERE. No time or effort was wasted (even though it may have felt like that at the time). Working multiple jobs in your 20s can help you become more well-rounded. There is value in that.
7. There IS a way to manage your anxiety. I remember my first panic attack. I was inside the tanning bed because I would do anything to get that tan (see number 1). I probably had a Playboy bunny sticker on my hip to create the outline on my skin—who remembers this? Anyway, I slung the top of the bed open and rolled out, feeling very disoriented. I threw my clothes on, banged on my roommate's door, and yelled for her to finish up so we could leave. I sat on the floor of my apartment for hours, worried that I was dying. Geez. I remember the way I felt so clearly. That started my journey with anxiety. I didn’t have severe panic attacks like that often, but the common anxiety was present. I just thought this is how it would be and there wasn’t anything I could do to make it better.
WRONG. If I only knew all the tools I use now, it would have saved me so much time thinking something was wrong with me and feeling annoyed that I was chosen to be anxious. I perceive my anxiety very differently these days. I no longer see it as an enemy that I have to desperately force away—and then become super angry when it doesn’t just go away because that’s simply not how it works. Nowadays, it’s more of a friend that I acknowledge and examine to find out why she showed up. It took a while to get here, but it feels really good.
Do I really wish I knew these truths back then? Only if they would’ve made my 20s easier while still landing me exactly where I am today. In reality, that would've made me a different person with a different life . . . and I’m not asking for all that. My 20s were wild and I learned a hell of a lot about myself and life. Unfortunately, to really believe these truths, you have to live them, endure them, and feel the pain of their consequences. THAT is how you gain wisdom. Wisdom is one of my favorite things about growing older. Now I get to pass these on in hopes you will learn them a little easier than I did. You’re welcome.
