You Don't Have to Dim Someone Else's Light to Shine

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There are an estimated 7.53 billion people living in the world.  Every single one of us is uniquely different.  We are all super special in our own way.  In my very first Coaching session, I tell my Clients, “Always remember that you are one of a kind.  There is no one else like you nor will there EVER be any one like you in the course of history.”  This is always a powerful moment.  Why?  Because that statement is 100% TRUE.  And when I remind them of this and they take a second to let it sink in, it invokes some real and raw emotion.  Now you consider it.  How AMAZING is that to think about?!  YOU, my friend, are extraordinary.  


You are one of the most uncommon things walking on this earth.  So why would you want to be anything or anyone else except for yourself?    You’re the coolest!  You were born with purpose and you have a destiny that can’t be fulfilled if you are pretending to be someone else.  What makes YOU special?  Set some time aside and make a list.  Let’s call this our list of special sauces.  Read each one out loud and allow yourself to be grateful for every one of them.  Then take your special sauces and rock the hell out of them.  Let them SHINE super bright.  Be honored to have them and wear them proudly.  

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Now that we are all dialed in on what makes you special, let’s acknowledge everyone else.  They have outstanding qualities too.  Some people are so in tune with their special sauces that they’re able to be very successful with them.  Bravo!  They are living their best life.  That’s the ultimate goal for all of us, right?  We can certainly take a page or four from their book.  But unfortunately, some people may be envious that they don’t possess those qualities.  Or maybe they do, but aren’t motivated enough to use them to their fullest.  The rise of social media has intensified envy to a not so healthy level.  Envy is a strong emotion that can make you think crazy thoughts and do things you wouldn’t normally do.  In one way or another, it causes insecurity.  It makes some people troll the internet with the goal of breaking someone else’s spirit.  It makes others second guess themselves and their awesomeness.  It makes some lose sight of their remarkable qualities and start forcing qualities that don’t belong to them.  It can also cause resentment. This resentment can lead to attacking someone’s character so they’re not seen in a positive light.  This gives me a case of the sads.  If you decide to dampen someone else’s light, it’s not going to make you shine brighter.  It’s just going to make you look bad and feel even worse.  Believe it or not, we can all shine bright! 

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Here’s another perspective.  It’s human nature to want what we don’t or can’t have.  For example, girls with curly hair sometimes wish they had straight hair and vise versa.  For demonstration purposes, let’s use the names Jennifer and Becky.  Jennifer is envious of Becky’s ability to speak in front of people.  Becky is so good at it and people rely on her to bring her A game to all social events.  Could it be possible that Becky is also envious of Jennifer?  Maybe Becky wishes she had Jennifer’s ability to listen.  People trust Jennifer and always comes to her privately with their problems.  What if both girls started to embody their special qualities?  Maybe they could work together and take over the world!  And if they can’t do that, here’s another thought . . . MAYBE they could start supporting each other through their endeavors.  Mind. Blown.  We don’t do enough of this these days and it’s super disheartening.  Some people think, “Screw them and that magically quality they possess.  I want it.  And since I don’t have it, I am going to make sure that other people don’t think they’re so great because it’s not fair.”  Instead, they should be thinking, “Good for them!  They are so good at that.  I wish I was good at that, but since I’m not, I am going to cheer them on so they can do great things.  THEN, I am going to find what it is that will make me SHINE bright and go after it full force. I bet they will come back and support me just as I have supported them!”  THIS is how it should be.  


For example, I can’t sing for shit.  I have to turn the music up so loud in the car to drown myself out because I sometimes sound like a zoo animal.  I WISH I could sing.  But let’s be real, GOD didn’t bless me with that quality.  So instead of being envious of those that can and bashing them to make myself feel better,  I choose to support them—buying their albums, enjoying their voice/music, liking their videos, or giving them mega props.  I allow them to SHINE at what they do best.  There are plenty of other things that I was born to do, so I just hone in on them and SHINE.  What good is it going to do if I try to dim their light?  Nothing.  Because guess what?  They are still going to continue to sing their asses off and make other people happy doing it.  I have done nothing but made myself feel like an asshole.  

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The last thing to consider is that since there are so many people living in this world, there is far enough of everything to go around.  If I am great at Life Coaching, I have to remember that there are other great Life Coaches out there.  We can all be great together because we are all unique in our own ways.  We are all going to help people differently so we can all exist together!  We can all support and celebrate each other because there is enough business to go around.  Did you hear me say how many people live on this earth??  There is no shortage of people who need some Coaching!  

SHINE bright, friend.  SHINE so bright that you can’t be ignored.  Don’t apologize for why you are SHINING.  Embrace it. You were born this way and it is what you were chosen to be blessed with.  When you see someone else SHINING bright, support them.  And when you see someone else struggling to get their SHINE on, share some of your fire so their light becomes brighter.  We are all in this together and it will be so much easier and more pleasant if we can start acting like it.  This is when some real magic can happen—we are all highlighting our best qualities and enjoying the lives we live.  Now go get your SHINE on.  And like Rhianna says, “SHINE bright like a diamond.”  (Cue the music so we can all get up and have a dance party)