Putting Yourself First
When’s the last time you filled your cup? I’m not talking about with water, coffee, whiskey, or rosé. I’m referring to the phrase about your hypothetical cup. Filling your cup means replenishing your energy—physical, emotional, mental, and spiritual. When your cup is not full, you’re depleted in some or all of those areas. You get there by not taking the time to give yourself what you need. We’ve all been there. Hell, you may even be there today. The smallest thing can make you feel unappreciated, frustrated, easily irritated or offended, and burned out (among other things). There could also be an overall feeling of unhappiness or gloom. These are all signs you need to show yourself a little more love. It might be time to start putting yourself first.
I can already hear some of you saying, “Well, that’s just selfish. The people in my life are important so their needs come before my own.” What if I told you that you’re actually being more selfish by not putting yourself first? You can’t take care of other people or perform important tasks properly if you’re running on empty. Moms, I’m talking to you too. Now before you roll your eyes, re-focus on the word “needs”. Needs are requirements. When your body, mind, or soul needs/requires something, you must provide it or you will not be functioning at full capacity. Why do you think airlines tell you to put your oxygen mask on first before putting one on your child? Because you won’t be able to do anything for them if you’re passed out. You can’t give unless you have something to give.
When you make the time to put yourself first, you’re actually saying that you care SO much about the people in your life that they deserve the best version of you possible. Not only will you be happier, but they’ll be happier because being around you will be more enjoyable. Sorry, not sorry (it’s true). It’s wonderful that you devote countless time and energy taking care of others, but who’s taking care of you?
I often see people go out of their way to put everyone else first and when no one takes care of them in return, they feel unwanted or abandoned. When people rely on others to fill their cup, they get disappointed every single time. They might lash out because they aren’t feeling seen or heard. Listen, it’s very irresponsible to rely on someone else for your own fulfillment and happiness. Remember that no one knows what you want or need like you do. You are responsible for filling your own damn cup.
Be in tune with yourself. Identify what you need in the moment that will make you a better spouse, parent, sibling, daughter, son, friend, co-worker, employee, etc. It’s not the time to be modest. Your needs are just as important. You’re not superman or superwoman—you’re human. We must recharge from time to time and no one can do it for you. Listen intently to what you’re craving. Once you know what it is, create the time to make it happen. There is nothing more important than taking time for yourself when it’s needed. The biggest excuse in the world is “I don’t have time”. I call bullshit. You do have the time . . . you’re just spending it doing something else.
When you’re feeling drained or down, ask yourself what you need. Stop making excuses and create the time to give it to yourself. Watch as your energy is replenished. Notice how much better you feel. Pay attention to the positive responses you receive from others. Continue to give and take care of others with more ease. Repeat when necessary. Just think about it . . . putting yourself first gives you permission to take great care of your mind, body, and spirit. In the end, it might allow you to stick around longer with your loved ones,
