Are You In A Toxic Relationship With Your Hustle?
Let’s break down the hustle just a bit. I’ve experienced it as two main parts: ambition and productivity. They’re a powerful pair when they work in harmony. However, if they go unchecked, they can push you into overdrive. Ambition feels good. It’s the catalyst for creativity, growth, and intentional progress. It’s the spark that drives your productivity. Productivity feels really good. It’s the effort that helps you put all that good energy and focus to use. When you’re productive, you see the results! There’s something about ending a day after you’ve accomplished a few solid, meaningful things. You’re that good tired. You feel proud of how you showed up.
Sometimes there’s a point where healthy hustle takes a turn and becomes a little toxic. What used to feel exciting starts to feel overwhelming. Your ambition shifts to overcommitment. Your good tired is now exhaustion and depletion. The motivation is now anxiety. You go from feeling energized to resentful about everything that’s on your plate. It often sneaks up on us high-achievers! We’re so used to pushing through that we don’t notice when it starts to push back. Below are three signs your hustle is no longer healthy. If they hit home, don’t be hard on yourself. Look at it as a chance to step back and press the reset button.
1. Rest Feels Wrong . . . Or Bad.
When you take a break, do you often feel lazy, guilty, behind, or not disciplined enough? Join the club . . . I used to be the president. Here’s what I’ve learned: the urge to stop and rest actually means you need a break. I know that’s hard to hear, but honey, we are not machines. The amount of pressure we put on ourselves to keep going is not always sustainable. Healthy productivity makes space for recovery because rest is fuel. It’s what keeps you going. Think about this, when are you the most productive? It’s not at the end of the day when you’ve been slaying nonstop. Also, how much more productive do you feel after a full night’s sleep? Exactly.
The Shift: Redefine rest as a part of your strategy. It doesn’t have to mean hour long pauses every day, but you do need breaks. Just a few minutes here and there, even on your busiest days, can give you the reset you need. Commit to 2–3 nights a week of getting to bed at a decent time so you can actually rack up quality sleep. If you want to stay productive long term, you must make space for breaks and rest.
Rest = More Productivity.
2. You Feel Like You’re Never Done
Do you struggle to press pause at the end of the day? Everyone should know that an adult’s to-do list is actually never ending . . . but perhaps you’ve forgotten. You’re treating your list like there’s a finish line, so you’re racing to check things off to get there faster. But no matter how much you accomplish, your brain skips past allllll that and fixates on what’s next. Therefore, you always feel behind. And even though you do get a lot of shit done, it never feels like enough. This loop robs you of the satisfaction of celebrating what you’ve achieved and makes you feel like success (getting to the end of the list) is out of reach. Your work is never done and what you’ve already accomplished doesn’t even matter because there’s always more waiting. (Sigh)
The Shift: Move your perspective from “I can’t get it all done” to “I’m not supposed to get it all done today”. I guarantee if you look at your list, there are things on there that can wait. Maybe not a long time, but they can wait past today . . . or tomorrow.
I remember stressing over finishing my little boy’s first-year baby book “on time”. I beat myself up because I wanted it done perfectly by his first birthday. Eventually, I shifted my perspective — I realized it didn’t have to be finished by then. If I gave myself some grace and stopped rushing, I could enjoy the process more. Once I took it off my plate, I did enjoy it more! I finished when he was 1 and ½ years old. It took me an extra 6 months and it turned out even better.
Your to-do list is endless, but your energy is not. To-Do list ≠ Self Worth.
3. Your Self-Talk Is Way Harsh
The busier you are, the more your inner drill sergeant is yelling at you to do more, work longer, and hustle harder. You’d think that when you have a big win, she would pat you on the back and celebrate with you. But heeeell no — not even close. Instead, she criticizes what you didn’t do well enough. You’ve gotten so used to hearing your inner drill sergeant that you’ve convinced yourself that she’s your motivation. I’m here to tell you, you’re mistaken.
Now take that voice and imagine it coming from your best friend. How would you feel if you told your bestie how busy you were today and you weren’t sure you could get it all done and she replied with, “Well, you should have managed your time better.” Or if you told her some good news about a recent win and she said, “Big deal. What about all the stuff you still haven’t done?” It might motivate you to a degree, but it’s not going to make you feel inspired, proud, and joyful. No wonder you’re exhausted! You’re hearing a bully, not a friend.
The Shift: Disconnect from the drill sergeant and re-connect to the inner best friend. Tune into how you speak to yourself — I promise it will be some of the most rewarding work you ever do. Don’t know how? My course walks you through it step by step. Check it out in this link: Click for a Happy Headspace. Anxiety-driven hustle doesn’t have to be your default. There is another way. I taught myself and so can you! It’s cool to get a lot of things done, but it’s even cooler to feel good while you do them.
The way you speak to yourself = The way you experience everything.